


So it begins..

by kissingsherlock



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Backstory, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Romance, The Mentalist backstory, before canon, before show starts, fluff at first, smut later, warnings apply for later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-04-08 15:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4311204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissingsherlock/pseuds/kissingsherlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever wondered how Patrick and Angela met? How their first kiss was? How the decision to run away grew in their minds while they fell in love more and more over time? This story tells their tale from the beginning to the last good bye. Be with them when they are nervos to talk to each other to when they struggle to make a living away from everything they knew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Can I help you with this?

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place before the show started but I will try to pick up on the hints placed in the show about what happened in Patrick´s and Angela´s life. I hope you enjoy and I´m sorry for any mistakes. English is not my native language.

I was walking towards my trailer with a bunch of wet clothes in my hands. Actually the plan was to hang them up to dry midday so there would be enough time for it. But I had to help all day breaking down the tents of the carnival so we could start travelling early in the morning. Now was my last chance to prepare my costumes so they would be ready to be packed in suitcases by the morning. That was unless the weather decided to change of course. When I arrived at my family´s wagon I started to throw the different coloured suits on the clothesline that my brother tautened between our home and a nearby tree. Yes, this was our home. A trailer that was barely big enough to walk inside let alone live with three other people but it was all we had. My parents, my brother and I, we all worked at the carnival, travelled through the whole country, moving to another city every other week. That has been our family business for generations now. Even my grandma didn't know the feeling of living in one place more than a month. One time, when I was six years old, my mother asked me if I wanted to go to a real school, a boarding school where I could stay and they would come visit me every few months. But of course I declined. I was too scared of being away from my family and all the people I got to know over the years. Now at the age of sixteen I hated myself for refusing their offer. All I wanted at the moment is to escape from this hell called carny life.  
“Hey, you´re Angela, right?” I flinched at the voice that suddenly broke through the quietness of the mostly empty field. As I turn around I saw a blond haired young man walking through nightfall right towards me.  
“We´ve known each other for years, Paddy.” I said and turned to my work again, pegging out the rest of my washing. “Where have you been? Haven´t seen you in a while.”  
“Oh you know...” He began when he finally reached me. “I had business to take care of.”  
“So it´s true? You were in jail?” For a moment he looked at me with shock in his handsome face and I felt the need to explain myself. “You know.. You just left and there were rumours.”  
“Oh well... No. I was just... Can I help you with that?” He changed subjects pointing at the clothesline in front of us. Since it wasn´t my business what he´s done in the past I just went with it.  
“Well it would help if you could stop staring at my underwear.” My words made him blush and turn away. Even the jokingly grin that accompanied my sentence didn´t help him loosen up. “It´s great to see around again, Patrick.” I sent him a sweet smile hoping he wouldn´t mind my little teasing.  
“Well it´s nice to see you again.” He smiled and just looked at me with his hands in his washed-out tattered jeans´s pockets.  
I smiled back and rose to speak again hoping it would break the awkwardness. “Can you help feeding May? I need to get it done before my father gets angry at me for staying out too late.”  
“Sure.”  
“Great.” I started walking and couldn´t help but smile to myself.  
“So it´s your job now to do the acrobatics with May.” He reasoned while walking right beside me looking at me every other moment.  
“And you still have the great X-ray eyes and deductive mind you´re so famous for.” My sarcasm let his self-assured smile leave his lips.  
Then suddenly he started laughing. “That´s my job. I probably wouldn´t be here again if it wasn´t for my ability to earn my father´s money.” The bitterness in his voice was unmistakable.  
“Don´t say that.” I uttered after a while when we reached the elephant´s enclosure. He didn´t reply anything just stared at May coming towards us because she recognized my voice.  
“Look at her.” Patrick said seemingly astonished by this sight. He grabed the beam of the fence and let his body fall back holding onto the wood.  
Without saying another word I lead her a bit to the left closer to the wagon that carried her hay. She waited patiently until I pulled out a bunch of it and she even awaits until I presented it to her. Only then she takes it carefully with her trunk after petting me on the head as her way of thanking me. I walked back into the wagon while Patrick followed me quietly.  
“Is this really her? I can´t remember her being this gentle.”  
“She just needed training, that´s all.” I shrugged it off and handed him an empty bucket while keeping one for myself. “We need to get her water. Today´s a hot day so we probably need to go to the lake twice.” I actually waited for him to leave without helping me but he didn´t. He carried his bucket to the lake and back and then to the lake again without one bad word coming from his lips. Even I would have liked to complain about the work in this impermeable heat around us that made it even more exhausting but he didn´t. When we arrived at the lake a second time I let the bucket fall on the ground and sat down right by the waterside near enough to dip my feet in the cold water if I wanted to. Without hesitation he filled his bucket and then mine afterwards while I was watching him climbing in and out of the lake. He didn´t seem to mind that I just sat there and did nothing beside letting him do my work. It wasn´t even in my intention to let him work for me I wanted him to sit down with me, beside me so we could talk but he just walked back through the woods to the enclosure. I sighed remarkably before following him back to the trailers. I already knew that I was going to have a hard time figuring this guy out but I was sure, a hundred percent sure, that it will be worth it in the end.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update. I will try to update sooner in the future. Again sorry for my spelling mistakes (I admit I didn´t proof read it.) Thanks for reading!

“What are you doing up there?” Patrick shouted looking up at me with laughter as I was practising on the roof of my trailer.  
“What do you think I´m doing?” I said while doing a handstand and trying to bend enough for my feet to touch the roof again.  
After chuckling he resumed: “Does May still need water? I don´t have anything to do right now and I thought...”  
Looking at him I lost my balance and fell on my back which resulted in a loud blow on the metal roof. Instantly my brother came out of the wagon but instead of asking if I was okay he just greeted Patrick. Since Patrick returned from where ever he has been my little brother and him had become good friends regardless of the four years between them.  
“Yes, I´m okay thanks.” I mentioned sarcastic when the two wouldn´t even consider that I´m hurt.  
“Stop pouting and get down here!”, Danny said laughing at a story Patrick told him. “Did you know that the store in town belongs to an old lady who will give you free stuff?”  
“Only if you say the right things.” Patrick winked at Danny with a bright grin on his face.  
“Just catch me, Danny.” I ignored the once again bad influence that Patrick had on my little brother and slid down the roof smoothly into Danny´s arms before he let me step on the ground in front of Patrick.  
“Are you ready?” He asked looking into my eyes and my heart dropped for a second.  
“Ready for what?” Danny intervened.  
“We wanted to go get some water for May.” I explained and took a step back from him.  
My little brother looked at Patrick first then at me and with a big grin on his face back at him. “Sure.” He answered finally in a teasing manner almost winking at the man beside me.  
“Mind your own business.” Patrick said and jokingly shoved him. I watched them grapple for a bit before I laid my hand on his back.  
“Let´s go, Patrick.”  
Instantly he let go of my brother, whom he clearly overpowered, and followed me.  
We walked through a field of high grass that almost reached my hips. The air was vibrating of heat and the last sun rays of this late summer´s day that coloured everything in silky tones of yellow and orange.  
“You´re practising a new show routine?” Patrick broke the stirring silence.  
“Oh great deduction, genius psychic.” I joked, hoping he would just drop the subject. I´m not going to say that we had problems but lately my parents seem to act more and more strangely and the tough times didn´t seem to pass as easily as they used to ever since I can remember. They barely talked any more and when they do they keep yelling at each other because of business.  
After laughing to himself he continued: “You know what else I can read in your mind?”  
For a moment my heart stopped. If he could ever read my thoughts I couldn´t look him in the eyes out of embarrassment. Shoving aside the heat that was about to rise in my cheeks I muttered: “Oh and what is that?”  
“Why am I practising a new routine when we only have four cities in two months left. I have the whole winter to practise.” He tried to imitate my voice by speaking in a much higher tone that I thought was possible for an adult man and I couldn´t help but laugh at his attempt.  
“I don´t sound like that!” I managed to utter playfully pouting after I could finally form audible words apart from laughter.  
His smile faded fast after mine when he dared to ask what was really going on.  
“Oh you know.. It´s the 80s. I guess people just have better things to do in their spare time than going to a boring carnival show.” I tried to contain my bitterness and conceal it with a joking tone and smile while I just shrugged it off.  
Looking at him I saw a worried look in his eyes while his face remained completely neutral. I couldn´t suppress the urge to explain myself more to him. “We aren´t earning enough money anymore. I mean it´s not only us. You probably noticed that everyone is running low at the moment. And my dad is blaming us being the main attraction. He says everyone is but I can hardly believe that. Anyways. I was... advised to come up with some new more exciting shows that would lure people to the carnival.”  
Without hesitating he answers in an unusually serious voice: “I know what you mean. This summer went worse than the ones before but I can definitely say that it´s not your show´s fault. Everyone noticed that there were continually less visitors. Even Mariah told me that she barely earned any money this week. And you know her hot dogs are the best.” He tried to make me smile and I appreciated that. For a change I could read his face like an open book: He hoped I would laugh or at least flash him a grin but all I did was sigh.  
Without noticing we had walked past May´s wagon forgetting to fetch the buckets and walked straight to the lake. Seemingly without noticing the mistake Patrick sat down beside the water facing the small waves nearly touching his run-down shoes.  
“We forgot the buckets.” I remarked while sitting down next to him and the excitement I felt reminded me of older days.  
“No.” He just said, not taking his eyes off the water.  
“What do you mean no?” I looked at him confused. His hair shimmered golden in the sunset´s light and then he finally looked at me with a smirk on his lips. “I got May some water already. Honestly I just wanted to talk to you when I saw you like that.”  
“Like what?” He wasn´t oblivious to my discomfort so he tried a gentler approach.  
“Do you remember the time before I was gone for a bit?”  
“A bit? It was four years, Patrick. We were almost children.”  
“I know it was a long time and things changed since then. I just wished that we could talk like that again.” When I didn´t say anything, just stared at the other side of the lake, he continued and I felt that he tried his best to sound as casual as it was humanly possible to him. “It just feels weird to see you suffer and not knowing what is going on in your mind.”  
I chuckled bitterly and looked at him. Some unknown anger crept up inside of me and I would have loved to scream at him that he shouldn´t have left then but instead I said: “We were close but that´s in the past. You can´t just disappear and come back again and expect us to treat you like you never left our community. You can´t just come and go as you please and think you´re still part of my life.” His features didn´t change one bit as if he didn´t care about what I said and it made me even angrier. I almost thought that I had been too harsh with him. I actually truly wanted to tell him that I´m glad he´s back and that I was looking forward to making those four years up, getting to know him all over again. But his indifference made me furious. The moment I realised he wouldn´t answer was the moment I stood up and made my way back to the camp. Once I dared to look back, hoping to see any kind of emotion, but he had just pulled his legs closer still staring at the lake. This picture stayed with me my whole way back. The whole power of anger that I had felt four years ago came back to hit me again, making me realize that I never truly got over the fact that he left without a word. I still remembered it like it was yesterday. I had walked to his and his dad´s trailer and wanted to show him the butterfly that I had caught in a glass that I stole from Mariah´s shop. A stupid excuse to get to talk to him before we broke down the tents and left the next morning. I had knocked at the door and his father had opened. The heavy smell of smoke and sweat that had greeted me still lingered in my nose as I thought back and I remember being a little scared of him. But I had pulled myself together and asked if I could see Paddy. He had sneered and told me no while he had already been closing the door. I had proceeded to ask when I could see him and his father´s words almost hadn´t reached me through the closed door but they had echoed in my empty mind as I tried to make sense of them. “He is gone.”  
I could recall the moment that my legs had made their way home across the mowed grass. I couldn´t remember what happened to the butterfly in these moments, I just knew that when I could finally cry on the fold-out stairs of our trailer it had already been gone.  
I wouldn´t get any sleep tonight that was for sure. Being consumed by the thoughts of how I came to terms with losing my first crush without knowing what had been going on and now seeing him again. All grown up with the same breathtaking smile that I had almost forgotten. I knew I wouldn´t find rest with his presence in my dreams. And now – now he was back, demanding to be part of my life again, letting everything slip out of my control again as I could feel the same attraction he had to me ever since. I wasn´t able to let him be that close to me again, ever again. Because he made me feel the power he had over me. He made me suffer for all I cared for him and it was enough. I finally managed to let no one have that much power over me but myself and I was not yet ready to suffer again.


	3. Chapter 3

Before everyone else got up I got dressed in my best summer dress and stepped out into the still chilly air. It was Sunday morning and preparations to leave this town had already started. I knew that my parent´s didn´t like when I left because I couldn´t help them to pack everything up but it became a kind of tradition for me to excuse myself for Sunday mornings. I walked towards the trees behind our home knowing that there would be a street that I could follow to the nearby town. Walking in the shadows of the blooming trees made me regret putting on a dress because I could feel the foreshadowing of the nearing fall in the cold wind that grazed through the leafs. It probably wouldn´t even take a month until the first brown leafs would cover the ground. I was glad when I finally stepped out in the open and on the small street. Barely any cars drove by while I walked north following the line the asphalt provided. About ten minutes into walking the town formed in a distance and with it two figures walking towards me on the same side of the road. My heart stopped only to beat harder when I recognized golden wavy hair on one of them and when I heard their voices I was sure. My brother and Patrick walking towards me, joking, laughing, being generally silly and I felt ashamed because of how nervous I got as they got closer.   
“Where is she going?” I heard Patrick´s voice and when I overheard my name I clenched my fists for a split second. Every muscle in my body tensed up in anticipation and my tension reached it´s peak when he finally looked me in the eyes, captured me and didn´t leave me until he stood right in front of me.   
“How´s my favourite sister doing?”, Danny laughed, laying his arm over my shoulders and pulling me close.   
“I try to walk to town. What are you two doing here so early?” I smiled and shoved off his arm not letting my eyes leave Patrick´s for long.   
“I showed him the corner store.” Patrick answered and both laughed at their little secret. I didn´t ask further because I have already been late when I left home so I heavy hearted I said that I had to hurry and was about to say goodbye when Patrick intervened. “Can I accompany you?”  
For a moment I stared at him startled while my brother joked about how he should not disturb the good girls when I gained my words back. “Sure you can.” I couldn´t help but return his reluctant smile although I tried to contain my excitement.   
“See you, Danny.” Patrick half-heartedly tried to get rid of my brother already turning towards the town he just came from.   
“You can´t just leave, Pat!” Danny protested but soon discovered that he didn´t have a chance to change Patrick´s mind.   
“You can´t just let your sister walk around alone like that. I´ll help you later.” He didn´t even look at him just waved with one arm over is head while I stepped beside him.   
Danny accepted his defeat and retreated, not that I would still notice that he made his way back through the trees. Although I didn´t like to admit it, my attention rested on Patrick walking so close next to me that our arms touched regularly. After some silence that made me recall the last talk we had, he hemmed and I felt like he too had to think about the things I said. “So you´re going to church?” His tone was careful as if he was scared to make me go off at him again.   
“My brother told you?”  
“Yes.”   
I looked at him until I found the courage to ask him: “Why are you going with me then? I remember you don´t believe in such things.”  
“I couldn´t let you walk alone out here.”   
I chuckled. “You mean out here in the wilderness?”  
“Yes! All these cars and the big city with all these gangs. I was afraid you could get lost.”  
We both laughed shyly as we approached the first houses of this three home town.   
“Sarcasm. That´s new.” I remarked and took a deep breath feeling the sun heating up the asphalt on which we walked. It hurt me when I became aware of how careful and tensed he suddenly was with me. Maybe I really had been too harsh with him this week. We both avoided each other as good as possible and it was the hardest most life draining thing I had to do lately. It saddened me that this feeling now seemed to continue even while being with him.   
“You changed, too, you know?” He put his hands in his pockets and I dared to look at him for a moment longer than it would have been acceptable. The sun shone through his white shirt exposing his body underneath it and it took all my strength to look at the street again.   
“What do you mean?” I already knew that I didn´t want to hear the answer. `I know that I`m bitter, thanks for telling me´ was what I wanted to blurt out but I stayed silent.   
“You don´t laugh at my jokes the way you used to.” I thanked god for this not so serious answer of his.   
“Maybe you´re just not that funny any more.” I joked and he lightly touched my shoulder with his in an attempt to nudge me. The rest of our way he tried to convince me of his comedic talent. Only when he saw the white painted small church in front of us he stopped in the middle of a joke.   
“So is there a thing for me to attend. Some guidelines to follow?” He gulped when we took the steps to the big front doors covered in colourful glass.   
“Are you serious?” I laughed and as I opened the door and gently pushed him inside I lowered my voice until it was only a whisper. “Just do as I do.”  
“Okay.” He answered too loud for the quiet room and he cleared his throat with the first people turning their heads at us.   
I signed him to be quiet because the service had already started and led him to a bench in the back where we sat down behind an old black couple. The woman´s enormous hat made it impossible for me to see whatever was going on in the front. Even Patrick had trouble to see so he chose to keep his eyes on me. I tried to ignore it for a bit but he made me nervous and he knew exactly what he was doing judging by his smirk.   
“Okay. What?” I whispered throwing a glance at him but quickly looking back to the front where the choir took position.   
“Oh nothing.” He replied standing up when everyone else lifted themselves from the wooden benches. He grabbed a small book from behind us, skimmed through it quickly just to finally open it at a page with the song text of the song the choir and everyone around us was singing. He held the book between us so I could read it too and looked suspiciously innocent. In the same moment I was stunned by the fact that he was able to follow the service while also making it insanely hard for me to concentrate on what was said although it was me who wanted to pay attention but can´t because of... him. “Unbelievable”, I muttered under my breath smiling and swore to myself to ignore his eyes on me for the rest of the sermon. What I couldn´t ignore was his faint smile reacting to my swearing. Up until the end he stayed silent and let me enjoy the peaceful situation but I noticed that he didn´t really care what was being said although he seemed to listen. Even though his eyes were directed to the front I knew his attention rested on me and it made me feel endlessly calm and in the end it was me that couldn´t keep her eyes to the front. On our way back the sun was already at the highest point in the sky and it took us nearly three times the time to walk home than it took us to get there. The whole time we were talking and it was as if the shadow of my harsh words that had weighed us down had lifted and for the first time in long I finally felt like I was able to breath.   
“Did I tell you that I´ll get my own show soon?” Patrick said.   
“No, you didn´t! That´s amazing. What are you going to do?”  
“You know... The usual. Reading people´s future and stuff. Finding their lost watches and keys with my psychic mind.”  
“So you´ll be a professional liar?” I tried to joke but it actually came along more serious than I intended. He tried to keep up the happy spirit and mocked me: “Why do you think I lie? Maybe I can really read minds and see the future.”  
“Oh I´m pretty sure you´re not able to read minds.” I blushed as his fingers touched mine and as a reaction to hide what effect he had on me I walked in front of him and turned around so I could look at him better.   
“What makes you think I can´t?” His grin wouldn´t leave his lips.   
Playfully running towards the trees I said in a louder voice so he could still understand me: “If you did you wouldn´t look at me like that.” As soon as I reached the trees I turned around, watched him follow me through the high grass.   
“What did you do?” He laughed and started running towards me, stopping only inches away from me. “Did you steal your brothers magazines? Murder your cat?” I backed away grinning mischievously at him until my back hit a tree and I couldn´t go any further. With every step he took towards me my heart started pounding faster and when he placed his arms left and right of me it felt like exploding.   
“What did you do, Annie?” he asked under his breath with this breathtaking smile of his, his nose nearly touching mine. The little voice in the back of my head that screamed that I actually wanted to keep my distance from him earlier this week was now drowned by the foresight of his lips on mine. Finally I was surprised by myself that I actually found the words to say this but somewhere from my malfunctioning brain I managed to whisper: “Read my mind, psychic.” I saw him glancing at my lips as I manage to pull myself up a little by the tree I was leaning at to nearly reach his lips. His breath on my skin and a ringing in my ears that seemed to get louder every second and right before he overcame the small distance between his lips and mine I saw two police cars with sirens rushing towards the fairground from the corner of my eyes. We both simultaneously backed away from each other and it took me a moment to process what was happening before I started running back home. I knew he was following me, I heart his steps behind me but at the moment I really didn´t care. If the police intervenes in carny folk´s business chances are something serious had happened. I felt like my lung was about to collapse in my chest when we finally reached the trailers. Only to find the police cars park right in the middle, lights still on, colouring the people and the attractions in blinking blue and red. We made our way through the crowd of people that were visiting the carnival and that already start to leave before we reached my parents. “What is going on?” I ask out of breath. My mother was the only one to react. She slowly looks from me to Patrick who is standing right behind me and back to me. Her voice breaks as she speaks and she´s close to tears: “It´s Danny. They are searching for him.”


End file.
